the festival of light

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: Only love can do that." ~Martin Luther King Jr.

At the start of today's flow, I was supposed to make a dedication to a moment or a person or an event that makes me smile, or that i am thankful for. But today, too many of such moments and events and persons came to my mind and in a hurry, i decided it has to be my yoga teacher for today's class.

As always, I feel so good after leigh's class. Its like the most heavenly state of mind i have experienced.

I cant decide whether is it she always does my favorite poses during her classes or was it because of her classes i grew to love these poses more. In any case, i did a few more child poses than the sequence she planned sets out to do but its okay i forgive myself entirely.

(At this very moment she popped out and asked if im feeling ok? And i almost went 'yup! Just blogging about you'. Im not sure if she knows or if she cares too much that she's bringing so much good to other people's life)

Im thankful for fellow classmates who practise good yogic etiquette and granted me a peaceful savasana to surrender in - after a pretty intense class for me and the mad rush prior cos I alighted at wrong station. Again! How silly! - Some light chatters but they quickly fade away into the melodic splatters of the rain. How nice to be able to just admire the rain and listen to its melody and not having to worry about nothing for a bit. Then i wonder, what do i usually HAVE to worry about anyways!

Holidays are good. Happy Dewali! :)

Pretty Gleesome

The greatest thing about the organisation I am working with is that its filled with highly-motivated, competent and efficient people. I don't mean every single one is, of course, no place is like that (there will always be those who are just really good at interviews heh). And hence, when things are stalling or beginning to turn backwards /downwards, its so easy to just find one pillar and lean against, take a breather, regain strength, adjust the lens and RE-FOCUS.

So that's right - FOCUS is the word. Focusing on the long term goals, on creating real values, on following the heart's ultimate desires, on the small steps in the right direction, on making everyday count. Everything else in the background can be blurred and dreamy effect and be forgotten and that's ok.

I haven't met a Nicholas in this life whom I dislike and lets just say, post Friday's lunch, it was gleesome to say the least. I'm grateful for the inspirations - and a good closure to the blind, hard work of last year. :)

At the end of the day, there are so many ways to propel forward - 'gotta keep going!

Being 25 for 1 last hour

I will miss being 25.

Youth is such beautiful thing and i must say departing the '25 and below' bracket is a tad painful. Of course I don't turn old in the instant the clock strikes 12midnight but increasingly, over this last year especially, I find the chances of turning out to be the youngest in any given group of people is down near zero and 'being young' is no longer an explanation or a forgivable excuse for any shortcomings from me as a fully established human being.

Being the youngest at home (fine, this is the only permanent) and youngest or same age amongst most of my groups of friends (I suspect natural attraction), I never needed nor knew how to extend the sort of support a more senior peer would to a junior one - simply put, I don't know how to act like a big sister. I might have all along, in the past 25 years of my existence, expect people to guide me along give me attention and take care of me. I'm never that eldest child, who figures out everything on my own cos there's just no one else to tell me how or willing to stand down and let the younger one win. There's just no one's there to fight me all this while - even if I want to share, everyone else have moved ahead beyond me.

I know I'm independent though, that's a given. But my kind of independence skew towards self-centred interests. I'm independent cos I just want to do my own thing - not entirely because I have the full ability and perseverance to make things happen on my own....

In any case, today I got a cake. It marks the start.

I'm starting to hang out with boys younger than me at work - they are in fact, my youngest friends and colleagues I have come to clique in my entire life. They exude even more maturity and confidence than I do, I don't know why and where did the initial discomfort and excessive self-consciousness sprouted from. Then it dawned upon me that the world and circumstances around me can change drastically, but I am still me. Me, is not a relative. I am not good because the others are bad or I am not lousy because others have more experience. Me, is that inside me - that who I really am. Its the soul that needs the nourishment, not the superficial me that I need to be too worried about.

I have been told that at age 26, its no longer cute to not know what's going on in the world. That affected me tremendously. I cant possibly be 26 and not making a difference to the world I am living in, can I ?! I have a lot to catch up.

And I took a peep into my bank account - at the savings I have accumulated over the past 3 years of slogging in the corporate world. I am glad and have no regrets at all about the the travelling I have done. Even the more depressing trips have shaped who I am today and make me a smarter traveller going forward. I will continue to travel voraciously. But apart from which, I need to manage my finances better and not just succumbing to wants  so easily - the inability to postpone gratification, as I last read, was used to explain toddlers who cry out loud cos they have no real sense of time- really should not quite apply to a 26 year-old. Honestly, the patience/calm might well make me a better negotiator - knowing the world wont fall upon me just because I dont get to own the one thing/term in front of my face right here and now.

I grew to love the friends who stood with me through thick and thin even more. And I love them genuinely for who they are. They do no have to live up to my expectations of them, they being who they are, is already perfect. The choices in life they make for themselves, are brilliant. The words and speech they use to portray and express themselves, that's individualism deserving utmost respect. And I will offer them genuine appreciation, for being who they are, for coming into my life, for staying and for contributing to who I am, who I get to be today. At the end  of the day, we are all only human,  we are all trying to be better everyday. Forgiveness, for yourself and for others, is actually very simple and straight-forward.

At age 25, I say - yoga, travelling and yuanzheng have taught me huge lessons in life. Very priceless lessons that have readied me to welcome the challenges and opportunities of life in year number 26!